How to Shop for Your Husband

While Your Husband's with You and You're Trying to Keep It a Secret for Pete's Sake!

So after being cooped up in the house for 2 days with a sick wife, by Black Friday Coach was ready to break free. Problem was, I had two specific things I wanted to go out and buy him for Christmas gifts. We do as many surprise gifts for each other as possible. I'm just not into the whole pick-it-out-myself-then-pretend-to-be-surprised-later gig. Originally my dad was going to take Nick out so Mom and I could hit the stores and accomplish the mission. Note that I said originally. Dad changed his mind and wasn't moving fast enough, Nick was not being left behind at the house, so all four of us head out together. Wonderful.

I cornered my dad and told him he had to get Nick pulled away some so I could get things purchased. Dad says "sure, no problem!" Well I don't know where he got the idea, but my normally best-secret-keeping-ever father was giving me like 2-minute windows of opportunity. After ditching this particular sweater on the floor 3 different times at Macy's I gave up. Time to move on.

So then of course, we're wandering around the not giant mall that's in SEMO and I'm constantly trying to figure in my head how to ditch the hubs and go back to get the sweater. It's not working. I'm at my breaking point and finally just declare to my husband "You won't get ANY presents for Christmas if you don't leave me alone to shop!" He got the picture then, though part of the surprise was still ruined in my opinion. So I manage to get back to Macy's, purchase the sweater, and only glare at the men once or twice for ruining my Christmas shenanigans.

Time for part 2. I needed to buy some tools at Sears. They had a drill set on sale for Black Friday, I had a $100 gift card from our refrigerator fiasco, it was meant to be. Coach hadn't even thought to ask for a new drill but a couple of off-hand comments by him let me know he would be delighted to get one. Here's how I planned to pull this off: The Sears parking lot is connected to TJ Maxx's lot. The men drop off the women at TJ Maxx then go off on their own to a more manly store. Like the hardware store across the street. Mom and I hike over to Sears, get the drill set, then hike back to TJ Maxx where we make a dumb purchase but ask for their biggest bag so we can hide that we went to Sears. Perfect plan right?!?

Sure, until Dad decides he wants to go to TJ Maxx too. Insert groans of frustration here. So now we're wandering around TJ Maxx buying pointless stuff because Mom and I have to act like we really wanted to go there. (And I'm being rude, I really did get some nice new Christmas decorations for our house plus Mom got me a new pair of fleece-lined leggings). We get back to the car and I finally just say, OK- I need to go to Sears. For the first time all day Dad got helpful and said he needed more jerky seasoning and how about he and Nick run up to SAM's Club to get some. Score! Mom and I hustle inside of Sears, get the drill and have the clerk triple bag it so you can just barely make out the yellow DeWalt box inside. At this point though I'm convinced Nick knows he's getting at least tools and that he'll see the darn yellow box at some point in the travel process. Not to mention that I have never once shopped for anything for myself at Sears in the entirety of our relationship so he surely knows I'm buying him tools. So I'm still not really happy about the situation but oh well.

By then I was tired, we went home, I napped again before dinner, and we ended the day at our favorite local hibachi restaurant. Love me some Shogun!!

(Just so you know, Coach claims to have been completely surprised by the drills and had no idea. He might still be bluffing but I'll take it since he was so happy to receive them).