Well Forget You

I made a terrible mistake. I bought a scale. I was curious. I thought, maybe I should actually check my weight. What a dumb thought.

Dear Scale,

I realize our relationships has been shaky in the past but I thought we could make amends. My pants have been particularly amenable lately which led me to believe you would be the same. I lovingly chose you. I found a clean spot in a warm room for you to reside. You will not be tampered with. You will not became a toy for the dogs.

I swore to respect your numbers. I trust your judgment. I entered this relationship with an open mind and heart. Yet you continue to refuse reciprocity. You insist on giving stagnant, surely inaccurate readings despite my best efforts. I think you just want to ruin my day. So to that I have to say,
forget you.

Forget you and your biased readings. Forget you and your dominating bullying. My pants and I were just fine without you and we'll be just fine without you again. You are dead to me, your numbers null and void. I officially bid you adieu!

Your no-longer friend,
Jenna (and her pants)

Those things are called letters

Something weird is happening. Students aren't being taught spelling. It's totally strange. I'm not sure who the dummy is who said kids don't need to learn to spell, but they're wrong. Allow me to explain what I live with.

I'm a high school teacher. I have students who can't spell to save their life. My highest honor students come to me with all their spelling questions because I actually can spell. I know how to spell because I know phonics. You see, the English language, while tricky, does have rules. Certain letters and certain letter combinations, make certain sounds. That sound may change based on the order of the letters (this is called emphasis), but even that has rules. So the students who come to me and say they actually spelled something right, I have a very hard time explaining to them that NO, that is not correct because that letter placed after that letter makes that letter sound likes this and not that. They don't know it because they've never been taught it.

Here's what it looks like in a high school student- I can't read what the student wrote since it's all spelled wrong and the student can't read aloud something I wrote because they don't know what sounds are supposed to be made. THIS IS WHY YOU TEACH SPELLING!!

So what does this look like in a grown-up? Simply put, extremely annoying conversation where there's always at least one word mispronounced. I have a particular person that I correct on a regular basis. I don't say outright "you're pronouncing that wrong." I act confused and say "do you mean _____?" They usually catch on. So one time this person tried to argue with me. The argument? Well everyone talks different, you can really say it however you want.

Um, actually you can't. That's the point of having a language. If you could just make whatever sounds you wanted to make and assume people will know what you're saying, then we've got the Tower of Babel all over again. Which means God is punishing us because we got all presumptuous again. Thinking we can just say things however we want. Serious business people, so please, make sure you teach your kids what letters make what sounds (PHONICS) and what letters go in what words to make those sounds (SPELLING) and save us all the major set-back of confounded language.

Don't worry Jenny, kids in the 90s got messed up too

So I was reading a favorite blog of mine the other day - the Bloggess of course. She wrote a post about basically white people ruining Latino music via translation but turns out the songs kind of creepy in its original version too (maybe? I didn't check her translation but I believe it anyway). So kids in the 70s were taught a weird song that's really just a poor translation of another weird song but isn't Carmen Miranda great?

So I watched the video link she included. And I realized I knew the song. Or the version my childhood self had learned which is nothing close to accurate since I knew NO Spanish as a child. But I have good reason, because the only reason I know the song, or even about Carmen Miranda really, is from Jerry Lewis. 

Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis movies were some of our favorites when we were kids. Scared Stiff is a special favorite. So here you go Jenny, I'm a kid for the 90s who learned Carmen Miranda from Jerry Lewis doing Carmen Miranda. And no. I don't know the song past the point of the record getting stuck. Obviously since the record got stuck.

 

Grading is what makes teachers so mad about being a teacher

Well that and the crappy pay. But honestly, the pay is a minute issue compared to the grading. It's so horrible. It's boring, tedious, mind-numbing, tear-inducing, most dreaded thing ever, awful. I am particularly resentful of grading. Here's how grading goes as you become more experienced:

Year 1- every assignment ever given is turned in and graded by the teacher on accuracy.
Year 2- every assignment ever given is turned in as a "notebook" and graded by the teacher on completion
Year 3- most assignments ever given are turned in as a "notebook" and graded by the teacher on completion, remaining assignments ever given are turned in an graded by the teacher on accuracy
Year 4- most assignments ever given are turned in as a "notebook" and graded by the TA (teacher assistant) on completion, remaining assignments ever given are turned in and grade by the teacher on general accuracy
Year 5- most assignments ever given are turned in as a "notebook" and graded by the TA on completion, most remaining assignments ever given are graded by the teacher on general accuracy, remaining assignments are forgotten- if the student asks to turn it in, they get extra credit
Year 6- most assignments ever given are turned in as a "notebook" and graded by the TA on completion, most remaining assignments are forgotten- if the student asks to turn it in, they get extra credit, remaining assignments are graded by the teacher on general accuracy

If you lost track of this- here's the break down. First I did too much, then I did a little less, then a little but less than that, now I barely grade.

But the grading I have to do now is like hard grading. Stuff I actually have to read. It sucks. It's not interesting and any teacher who tells you so is lying. I'm reading the same thing over and over and over. "Interesting" stopped showing up about page 3.

So then how do students show they're learning? That's way easier than you'd think. You see, students copy and plagiarize ALL DAY LONG. The work they actually turn in rarely shows what has truly been learned. It shows what's been completed. As a teacher, I can gauge a student's learning by seeing how engaged they are in class (tuned out means not learning, duh). By asking them questions. By seeing how quickly they complete that work. By seeing how much of that work they do on their own and how much they do with a friend.

The thing is though- non teaching people don't get this. People really think teachers need to sit down and score papers and give cute little letters grades to determine how well a student is performing. Teachers are not dumb people, teachers know their stuff. And just like a dentist can have a conversation with someone and quickly determine whether or not that person is another dentist. I can have a conversation with a student and quickly determine whether or not they know the same stuff I do.

So I hate grading, it's a pointless exercise that just sucks time out of day. But I have to do it, it's part of the job, so I'm going to keep doing it and complaining about it every single step of the way.

Feeding the Coaches

In case you all didn't know, my sweet hubby is the head football coach for the school at which we both work. It's a lot of fun, a lot exhausting, and completely rewarding. Some of the things football season brings I would be happy to do without. And with the regular season finished up (we're 5-4 heading into districts!), I'm most looking forward to simply having time with my husband again.

BUT there is one thing I think I might miss, and that's the Friday night dinners. Every Friday, after every game, win or lose, home or away, the coaches come back to our house to have dinner and recap the game. This was a tradition started by the former coach and it was one Coach and I chose to continue. Typically I feed anywhere from 8 to 12 hungry men every Friday. For this FCS teacher it was still a challenge. I didn't want every meal to be a casserole or crockpot dish- those get old fast in my opinion. And in honest truth, I only have about 3 casserole recipes. So I focused on dishes I could prep before and would cook in about an hour. That way I could race home after the games and have hot food ready by the time the coaches arrived. I also try to have an appetizer out so the first arrivals have something to snack on  till the whole group's ready to eat.

So what did I make? Well here's the list:

1. Baked ham, hashbrown casserole, green beans, dinner rolls, and birthday cupcakes (since the first game was also on my birthday!)
2. Frogmore stew, biscuits, and brownies (also called low-country or shrimp boil depending on from where you hail)
3. Home-made supreme pizza, ranch salad, mozzarella sticks, blonde brownies
4. Taco bar (beef, shredded chicken, chips, tortillas, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, sour cream), queso and guacamole dips, assorted cookies
5. Spaghetti and meatballs, Italian salad, garlic bread, mozzarella sticks, assorted cookies
6. Breakfast casserole, biscuits, cinnamon rolls
7. BBQ beef chili, hotdogs, cheese sauce, biscuits, chips, and crackers, cheesecake
8. Sloppy joes, French fries, tater tots, green beans, cinnamon crisps
9. Kettle beef, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, dinner rolls, stuffed mushrooms, brownies

Delicious right?! It's been a lot of work but since I love to cook it's not so bad. It's actually pretty rewarding to have the chance to make food that's well appreciated. I also get to use all my fun new appliances and serving ware that we got for our wedding. Eventually I get all these recipes posted so you can make them yourself but in the meantime you can probably find something good on Pinterest!

Throwback Thursday

That time in which I post poignant/funny/dumb/embarrassing tales about my childhood so people will manage not to envy me too much. You're welcome.

Hold on to your hats!!!




Prepare yourself!!!




Once you look, you can't go back!!!




I had a mullet.

This was the beginning. Over time my mom realized I needed a more clearly defined business-party line. Obviously as my business got more serious, my party got heavier too. And just in case people didn't know a good-looking mullet when they saw one, we styled it. With a curling iron. 

This isn't even the worst photo. I chose a tame one. The truth is, I chose NOT to put the worst one in our wedding slideshow (for the very obvious reason of it being my wedding slideshow) and so I don't have it scanned into my files. Maybe it will be lost with the tides of time! (An unlikely hope since my sisters have fond memories of my mullet and would probably hire a painter to recreate the picture if it were ever lost).

*Sigh- at least I learned at an early age "it will always grow out"


**Revelation! Maybe this is why I'm normally absurdly sane about hair cuts for being such a controlling person- I was ruined early on so everything is still better!


***PPS- thanks Mom, not for the hairstyle, but for loving me enough to truly think I looked good. Even in those pictures.

Books I Read This Summer That Rocked

I read a LOT of books this summer. It was glorious. I love reading and summer reading is my favorite. I knocked out a solid 3 on our honeymoon alone :). Every school year I track which books I read by pasting the book cover onto a poster. I'm severely behind this year and I was tempted to count some of my summer reading. I resisted though and have simply started digging in.

But my query did remind me that I hadn't reviewed a book in awhile. So instead of individual reviews, here's simply the list of what I liked by author.

1. Wendy Wax: Ten Beach Road, Ocean Point, Christmas at the Beach, The House on Mermaid Point.
2. JK Rowling: The Casual Vacancy, The Silkworm
3. Deborah Harkness: The Book of Life
4. Suzanne Enoch: Rogue with a Brogue, The Devil Wears Kilts
5. Veronica Roth: Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant

Twelve books- not too bad for a summer that included teaching summer school, getting married, and going on a honeymoon!

Living with a Boy

I didn't have the roommate to separate from- I did that earlier in my life. Living with a boy is still a tough transition. Keep in mind that I've lived with all girls or myself and nothing else. Boys are......different.

I love my husband, truly. But there's just some observations I've made:

1. Boys scratch. Like all the time. Their head, belly, you-know-whats. Once I noticed my dear husband having the habit, I noticed it in other men. Especially at work. Men must be very itchy.
2. Boys shed too! I've known my whole life that girls shed. One summer on vacuum duty in a house with 3 sisters will teach you how much hair actually comes off the female body. And we even spend time purposely removing hair from our body. Why didn't it cross my mind that boys shed? 
3. The belief that boys don't have as many clothes is a lie. We both had to do some serious closet cleaning to make our belongs fit together but I really didn't anticipate how much he would have. And he's not even a fashion-forward kind of guy. He dresses well and stylishly but almost grudgingly. So the fact that he had as many clothes as many was kind of surprising.
4. There are different definitions of clean. Enough said.
5. He who holds the remote reigns supreme.
6. Shopping doesn't count as work. Um, what? Excuse me??
7. Candles aren't romantic, in fact they're often ignored or forgotten. Best not to light them or you'll just set the house on fire.
8. Ill-conceived ideas that don't end well are going to be mocked. Always. With love, but always.
9. Home decorating will go unnoticed but if you point it out, you'll get the praise you want. :)
10. A well-cooked, or ill-cooked for that matter, dinner is always appreciated and will always get praise even if you think it doesn't deserve it.

Throwback Thursday

That time in which I post poignant/funny/dumb/embarrassing tales about my childhood so people will manage not to envy me too much. You're welcome.

Some people wouldn't be caught dead in a photo such as this. Personally, I see a smile and only 1 chin- therefore WINNER!

When: 2005
What: I was letting my sister dye my hair pink. Without telling my mom.
Why: I was always the good girl but I was obsessed with the color pink. I had long imagined beautiful blonde highlights with one streak of bright pink. But every time I went to the salon, someone talked me out of it. My mom, my sister, my hair dresser. It made no sense to me- I didn't party, I made good grades, I was responsible. Why couldn't I dye my hair pink?! So my sister and I found a home kit that was listed as being bad for my hair shade. It would turn your hair pink! We bought it, went home and did a crappy home foil, and voila! Pink highlights. They were temporary so they washed out after about 3 washes. Except for one. We had dyed the little baby hair bangs right by my forehead and that color never came out. All summer I had my strip of pink. It was a wonderful little rebellion. In retrospect, it was nothing. My parents had it easy. After teaching high school I now know, if all my kid does is put a little pink in their hair then we are A-OK!.

For the record- here's the finished product:

Being "That" Bride

I know a lot of things about myself. I know that I'm smart, funny, and loving. I also know that I'm impatient, demanding, and very bossy. My closest friends and I laugh about how I'm always "that" girl. The one who's so Type-A that she can't relax. The one who's destined to be the Martha Stewart of mothers- going all the way to jail if necessary to be perfect. And I'll admit- for the most part I accept this about myself. I try to overcome my rigidness and go with the flow, but sometimes that means knowing what situations will make me a nice person and creating those situations.

So when I got engaged I just knew, I knew, that I would be "that" bride. And I was- I needed real china, a 6 foot train, and I scheduled that day down to the minute. (For the record, everything ran like clockwork so it was worth it!). But sometimes, even my perfect planning and managing still created situations like this:

The most beautiful day of my life and there are still these moments. It's poetic really. I think I might make it my new profile picture. Which is why I worked my butt off to be the nice version of "that" girl. And I think I managed that. I definitely had my moments; don't we all?! Overall though it was an awesome, amazing day- even when my cathedral length veil insisted on attacking me. :)