Being "That" Bride

I know a lot of things about myself. I know that I'm smart, funny, and loving. I also know that I'm impatient, demanding, and very bossy. My closest friends and I laugh about how I'm always "that" girl. The one who's so Type-A that she can't relax. The one who's destined to be the Martha Stewart of mothers- going all the way to jail if necessary to be perfect. And I'll admit- for the most part I accept this about myself. I try to overcome my rigidness and go with the flow, but sometimes that means knowing what situations will make me a nice person and creating those situations.

So when I got engaged I just knew, I knew, that I would be "that" bride. And I was- I needed real china, a 6 foot train, and I scheduled that day down to the minute. (For the record, everything ran like clockwork so it was worth it!). But sometimes, even my perfect planning and managing still created situations like this:

The most beautiful day of my life and there are still these moments. It's poetic really. I think I might make it my new profile picture. Which is why I worked my butt off to be the nice version of "that" girl. And I think I managed that. I definitely had my moments; don't we all?! Overall though it was an awesome, amazing day- even when my cathedral length veil insisted on attacking me. :)

Wedding Organization

Based on appearances only, one wouldn't necessarily know that I'm an organized person. And in fact I wasn't always. Time and experience though, not to mention juggling lots of different things, has made organization critical for my sanity.

When the wedding planning started, I immediately went looking for a good all-encompassing planner. I never found one in paper form. The pre-made binders were just full of things that I didn't actually need, and the organizational pages they did provide simply weren't large enough or took too much handwriting. I found a few different digital things but ultimately I used one for a start and built from there.

The spreadsheet I ended up with contains all the pertinent information I need for EVERYTHING all in one place. My dear fiancé pointed out that I should probably make sure to back it up on a jump drive in case something happened to my computer.

The first spreadsheet is a guest list tracker. It's divided by host (bride family, bride friends, coworkers, groom family, etc). A column for last name only is included so you can sort each section alphabetically. There are columns for the formal name, casual name (outer and inner envelopes you know), and of course the seating card name. The address columns are broken apart as needed for mail merge (should you choose to print addresses onto labels or envelopes). Then the remaining columns track RSVP's, gifts received, and thank you's sent for the wedding, showers, and more.

The second page is the master budget. Every penny spent is recorded here and the expenses are linked to the appropriate groom-bride-couple budget pages. So for example, when I update the master budget, the individual budget break downs are automatically updated. Since our wedding is generously being supported by both of parents and ourselves, I wanted to be able to track not only how much was being spent TOTAL but also how much each party was paying thus far. Also concerning budgeting items is the last page for receipts. Plain and simple, all those little things I've bought and picked up along the way are recorded and tracked. This helps keep my spending in check and also serves as an easy one-look place to remember what was purchased. *A note on spending, I'm making as many purchases I can via a single credit card opened explicitly for wedding purchases. It's a zero-percent interest card with rewards points. That way I'm getting some sort of money back on the money spent, I'm not accruing interest, and we also have a little more time to foot the bill on these things since we haven't combined households or incomes yet.*

The other tabs include a timeline- you simply enter everything that's supposed to happen the day of the wedding. If you keep the time on a 24-hour clock (example, not 2 in the afternoon but 14:00) you can sort all the things chronologically after you entered them. Last but not list is the vendor list. This is mostly just contact information, but it's a handy place to have it all. You can print the list for day-of coordinators easy peasy.

I update the spreadsheet every week or so. When we were in the early stages of planning, I easily spent an hour on it each day. Now though it's mostly just the budget pages I have to update until the time for RSVP's and shower invites comes along.

Maybe this will help somebody someday, it's obviously completely customizable to your own needs!

Ultimate Wedding Planner!

6 months to go!

We are about 6 months away from the wedding. Oh, my, goodness. I'm excited to start sharing my wedding DIY posts soon now that I've actually started on the work. I really need to take pictures though to share what's going on and I'm not the best at that. Here's what's going on though.....

Still no dress. I know, I thought I found one but I hadn't really. My mom's coming into town to force my hand. Not literally, I just really need her opinion before I can choose. So I have it narrowed down to 2. Hopefully I can make the decision.

Still no cake. What is the deal with cake these days? It is outrageously expensive. I make cake. In fact, I make good cake. It's hard for me to pay that much money for something I can make myself. I realize I can't actually make my own wedding cake, but don't think I'm happy about it. We are still searching for something that costs less than our first born but tastes good.

Invitations are underway! All 638 pieces are waiting for printing and assembly. I ordered the invitation design from an Etsy shop and doing all the printing at home. The shop I chose was so reasonably priced it was still cheaper to print at home than to hire a printer. Plus I like being in control of everything :)

All of our vendors (except for the cake) are picked and deposited. It's a relief to know we don't have to "book" anything still. Everything down to the hair stylists and hotel rooms are taken care of.

We are perusing honeymoon ideas. If you have suggestions, throw them at me.

My sweet fiance has started counting the number of times I use the word "traditional" when working on wedding stuff. I can't help it. I want a classic, traditional wedding. Just like I want a classic, traditional marriage :) You know, the kind that stand the test of time.

THE Dress

So I found it. Finally. Well sort of. I reached the problem many a girl reaches (I think, maybe, I hope I'm not the only neurotic bride out there who's faced this). I liked the top of one dress and the bottom of another.

And no, I couldn't just attach one to the other, not without buying 2 dresses and breaking all and every level of wedding budget scruples. I could however, order and attach the fabric of one dress to the bottom of the other. So I went into it with that problem and met a seamstress who's a genius. Long story short, I will have my gorgeous princess gown with a few simple alterations. Add some train here, add some bedazzling there (and everywhere actually), and voila! My dream dress.

I'm still torn on the whole veil situation. I still dislike them all but there are a couple of different options I haven't tried yet. I have plenty of time before I have to decide that though.

There was just so much pressure. I loved so many of the dresses I put on and it was very hard for me to know that 1) I could only have one and 2) this was the last time I would ever get to wear a big fancy dress. I don't want to waste my final opportunity on just a so-so dress! I had visited 6 different stores and really kept comparing everything to one particular dress. So I finally went in on a whim, just by myself, back to the shop where I first tried it on. I spent about half an hour just wearing it, looking at myself in the mirror, all by myself. The sales ladies were super sweet and simply left me alone to dwell and think. In the end I shared my concerns with them and we were able to find the solution I needed. Definitely a great shop and I think I'm definitely going to have a great dress :)

Wedding Dress Shopping Real Life

I used to cut pictures out of bridal magazines of all the pretty dresses I liked. I waited and waited for my senior prom to arrive so I could wear the biggest, baddest dress of all. I watched the tv shows and wondered at who would be with me when I found my dress. I marveled at my friends who found their dresses in the first trip to the store. 

So when it was my turn I should have been ecstatic and anxious and super happy. I wasn't. I was a little tired and hadn't been to the gym in a month. I did have my mom and one of my sisters with me which was good. But the dresses weren't fitting right or they weren't making me excited. And you know that moment when they take a waffling bride and put the veil on her to seal the deal? Turns out I hate veils. I feel like a nun. Dress ruiner for sure. 

I had my day in my hometown with my mom and sister, trying on dresses at the stores I had bought my prom dresses from. Literally, one store owner was helping me and assured me she remembered what I looked like topless. Gotta love small towns. But I didn't find "the dress" only dresses I really liked.

I returned to KC and went to some stores here. It's just gotten worse. I think I like something tend go home and look at the pictures and think I look hideous. None, or very few at least, fit me right. Most will need such major alterations we would essentially be rebuilding the entire dress. Talk about a buzz kill. 

So I'm quitting, for now. I haven't found my dress yet and I know the clock is ticking. But I don't want to rush into a major thing and for me, the dress is a major thing. I somehow need to find a classy dress that makes me feel like a princess, in spite of the seeming nun veil, that comfortably fits Betty Boop. This is so not like on tv.

Inspiration

Anytime you do or make something new people always ask "what inspired you?" In the world of crafting it is usually one of two things. Either your own imagination or a photo. I am normally of my own imagination but with all this wedding stuff there are several photos I'm using for guidance. It's hard to convey what's in my head, especially since I can't draw at. all. So if I have some photos to show my vendors, I'm more likely to get my "vision" explained.

Here are some of my inspiration photos. Nothing in here is EXACTLY what I want but somehow they convey the colors, shapes, textures, and emotions, I'm aiming for with the wedding theme. (And yes, these are Coach's inspiration photos too, he even knows how to navigate the wedding binder!)

Wedding DIY

I know there is such a thing as too much DIY. I know this yet it doesn't stop me. Why does DIY even happen? Because people are control freaks. People like me know exactly how they want something. We can see it in our minds and know how to make it come to life. We don't trust that someone else can see the exact same image we have envisioned so instead of risking the precious project, we do it ourselves.

My wedding and my personality means the DIY list is already getting long. Here's the list so far:

• Flower/Ribbon Wands for flower girls
• Farewell ribbon wands for exit
• Invitations
• Ceremony Programs
• 1/3 reception centerpieces
• All cocktail hour centerpieces
• Reception Programs
• Out-of-town gift baskets
• Favors
• Escort cards

And I know I'm forgetting something. But I'm not overwhelmed (yet). I have been holding myself back from starting on any of these projects and have decided that with 9 months till the wedding day, I can start. I'm giving myself till November but then crafting is ON. I have a strategy for how I'm going to get it done so that little has to happen in the more stressful days immediately before the wedding.

• The ribbon wands will get made first.
• Then the invitations will be assembled as much as possible.
• Next I will assemble the escort cards (because I have to make life difficult and choose to do something other than a simple tag with name and table number)
• By then I will start putting together the table centerpiece pieces.
• Then I will do as much pre-assembly as possible of the favors.
• By then the details will be hammered out enough to start fully assembling invitations.
• I will also be able to put together the programs.
• Last will be the out-of-town baskets simply because I won't know how many I'll need until people start booking their hotel rooms.

I realize this is all likely to change but I am truly itching to get started on the piece I am certain of (like the ribbon wands). As long as I have a plan then I won't stress about it. Plus there's going to be snow days that will need to be filled now that I don't have homework since I finished my masters! See? It all makes sense. :)

  

Invitations

I love paper crafting. I am an old-school scrapbooker, nothing digital for this girl (except strategic red-eye fixes, teeth whitening, and skin clearing before I print the photos). Ever since I started scrapbooking, I've dreamed about my wedding invitations. While I know it will be a massive undertaking and I might regret it in the end, I can. not. wait. to make my wedding invitations all by myself.

I've picked a pocket system from Cards and Pockets. I ordered color samples right away (even before setting the date). I have since ordered and am anxiously awaiting my first sample kit. I can't wait to actually see how the pieces will fit together, how I will need to format my printer, what tools I'll need, what details I can add. It's seriously one of the most exciting pieces for me!

Here's something like I'm going for:

Our colors are blush/pale pink, champagne, and ivory/white. I want everything to be light, bright, and classically wedding.

I am also obsessed with having a bow-tied invitation like this one. So cute!


I'll let you know how the pieces come together!

Things I've learned since being engaged

Being engaged is fun. I earned the fancy French title "fiancé." I have awesome new bling on a previously-always-naked finger. Plus there's the obvious benefit of finally putting my dream wedding into a real thing. What fun!

There are weird draw-backs though. People just ask you these questions and I'm forced to give the polite answer. To the people with whom I'm actually friends, I laugh in their face. To the students people with whom I'm not actually friends, I have to bite my tongue. Here are my personal favorites and my would-be responses if manners and professionalism didn't hold me back.

1. I can't wait for your wedding, it's going to be so great! You're not invited, please stop thinking you are. Plus it's rude to assume you are since that means you're inviting yourself to my wedding, manners please!
2. Where are you going for your honeymoon? We haven't been engaged a week, we don't have a date set, but YES, of course we have our honeymoon planned.
3. My cousin went to this wedding where they had this thing, are going to have this thing? No
4. I have all my old wedding planning stuff, do you want me to bring it to you? To be fair, at first my answer would have been yes. Reality quickly set in and the answer is no, there are tons of wedding planning tools out there and while I realize you put a lot of time in your planning, it is likely not useful to me.
5. When are you going to have kids? We've been engaged a week. It won't be tomorrow, it won't be 9 months from now, and you're probably not the first person I'll be telling anyway.
6. Do you love him? No, I just got tired of living by myself and figured this would be a cool way to get a roommate.
7. I can't wait to see the invitation! You're not invited, please stop thinking you are...
8. Isn't a summer wedding going to be hot? Actually we chose July because we thought the cool weather would go well with our winter theme.
9. You should invite like the whole school! Stop talking.
10. I'll be your bridesmaid if you need one! Why do you think I need one? I have friends.

It really is all fun though. I wouldn't trade where I am for anything in the world. And even though these questions make me wonder about people I know in my heart they really do mean well. They just don't know how to express it.